Years have passed...and now we have a son

Back in 2007 I began this blog... and there unfortunately it ended. I have stumbled across it as I've now begun another blog. I feel terrible that people have viewed this, people who must have been adopting or wanting to adopt, and that I could have given some support in some way.... sorry.

I want to fill in gaps... but for now, just to say that in February 2009 we brought home our little boy, Natthapon. He was 11 months and 3 weeks old.  Now he is 6 and a half! 

There is so much to say. The whole physical process of trying to see through the adoption in a country where you don't speak the language. Where things are 'done' so very differently. The whole process of trying to believe, to feel, like you really are a mum now when the child in front of you sees you as a stranger...just another person who feeds you and holds you. The whole process of time passing and so called 'normal life' beginning, when those around think that you are just a normal family, and you are trying so hard to believe you are and pretend at feeling love, pretend it feels amazing to be a mum... when in fact you are in a state of delayed shock at these sleepless nights, tantrums, tears and feeling the whole time that if you'd been there from the start you would know what to do... the processes of dealing with the emotional side of adoption. The reality. When things that you had previously read about in books about adoption and children with attachment difficulties, now leaps off of the page and into your actual life. Reality.